It’s Official: Stephen Lang is Khalar Singh
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
posted by Al Harron
Stephen Lang as Colonel Quaritch in Avatar crushes his enemies, sees them driven before him, and hears the lamentations of their women, all while enjoying a fresh cup of Joe. Truly, that is what is best in life.
I really didn’t want this to be true, but it appears to be.
Stephen Lang, the magnificent character actor whose thirty-year ouvre includes show-stealing performances in Manhunter, Last Exit to Brooklyn, Gettysburg, Tombstone, Gods and Generals, Public Enemies, The Men Who Stare At Goats, and Avatar, is going to be the antagonist in the upcoming “Conan” movie.
Well, I guess every actor needs their shame. I just hope Lang has a swell time hamming it up. Jeremy Irons has Dungeons & Dragons. Jack Palance has Hawk the Slayer. Michael Caine has Jaws: The Revenge. Hopefully, Lang’s Khalar Singh (man, even typing the name has me gritting my teeth) will be a ray of sunshine in this otherwise ridiculous production, delivering his lines with the same sense of ludicrous glee Raul Julia imbued in Street Fighter: The Movie. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only thing I’m remotely optimistic about–his character’s a whole ‘nother kettle of piranhas, of course–and Mitra be praised, he might somehow make this film less intolerable to watch.
What does Lang have to say? How will he approach this legendary character–so legendary, in fact, Conan was afraid to to recount his adventures to the royal scribes discovered by the Nemedian Chroniclers? How can one possibly prepare for the role of a sorcerer who was more wily than Thoth-Amon, more powerful than Xaltotun, more diabolical than Yara, more sadistic than Tsotha-Lanti, more monstrous than Tolkemec, and more ambitious than Thugra Khotan?
“I’ve accepted the role of Khalar Singh,” Lang told MTV News when asked about the rumor.
“I have no idea how I’m going to do it,” Lang laughed. “First I’m going to find out how I’m going to sound. I’m going to get back on a Mongolian pony and ride like the wind. I’m going to flash my scimitar. I’m going to cut the nuts off Conan and his father.”
Sorry Steve, you’re too late for that party–the script got there way before you.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts…


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